Three years ago, 800-meter runner Molly Ludlow missed making the U.S. Olympic team in the worst way possible, finishing fourth at the Olympic trials after tying up in the last few meters.
“It was devastating for a year,” said the 28-year-old.
It was déjà vu for Ludlow at this year’s U.S. championships, when she was fourth again, and missed making the team for the world championships by 0.04 seconds.
With Beijing banished from her mind, Ludlow hit the European track circuit and, with no need to peak in late August, she raced, and raced, and raced. Paris, Madrid, Monaco, London, Linz—she hit them all in July. In Paris, she set a personal best of 1:58.68, the fastest American time of the year.
Then, two weeks before the world championships started on August 22, Ludlow’s phone rang. Ajee’ Wilson, who placed third at the U.S. championships, was injured, and her participation at the world championships was doubtful.
“I had people telling me every couple of days there is a 95 percent chance you won’t be going, then telling me there’s a 95 percent chance you will be going,” Ludlow said.
Finally, Ludlow got confirmation that Wilson was out and that it was time to pack her bags for her first major championship. Days later, she joined the U.S. team at their training camp in Tokyo, and then went to Beijing.
“Mentally, I was ready for it in June,” she said, “but after that I kind of checked out. Even though I knew there was a chance of making it, it’s hard when you don’t have [the place on the team] locked in.”
On Wednesday morning, Ludlow walked into the Bird’s Nest Stadium for her 800 qualifying heat. In an event with one of the deepest fields of the meet, she placed sixth in 2:00.70, and advanced to Thursday’s semifinals as a time qualifier.
“The stress of this week is insane,” Ludlow said. “This meet is approached in a different way to any other I’ve been to. There’s people’s livelihoods riding on this, and it’s so crazy, people literally sitting in their rooms getting worked up about their races.
“I’m like, ‘Geez, guys, it’s just another race,’ but it’s not to some people. It’s how they live, how they make their living. I realized how stressful championships are. This week will take a year off your life.
“The call room is the worst part, just sitting there for 30 minutes with the girls you’ve got to run against, and thinking: ‘Oh God, what did I get myself into?’”
On Thursday evening, Ludlow returned to the track for the semifinals. Whether it was the stress, the lack of focused preparation, or just plain old loss of form, she found herself trailing over the final 200. She finished seventh in 2:00.43, far off what she needed to run to reach the final.
“Maybe having 10 races in two months had a lot to do with it,” she said. “I ran myself into the ground. I didn’t know I was going to be here, so I think I did an okay job.
“When I hit 600 I just shut down. These girls are running so freaking fast, it’s just insane. I’m ready to run 1:57 but this year I had to be perfectly set up.”
Reflecting on her impromptu world championships appearance, Ludlow refused to be downtrodden after a year in which she feels she has come of age. She feels she’s a different athlete from the one who was fourth in the Olympic trials three years ago.
“I was so immature in 2012 and was just on a rampage,” she says. “Who was I to think I could make an Olympic team? This year I was ready. I was mentally and physically ready for it. If I’d got the call in 2012 to be on that team, I would have freaked out. I wasn’t ready. Now I’m ready for the next one.”
That one, of course, will come next summer, when she’ll try to place in the top three at the Olympic trials. The difference these days isn’t so much that she’s faster, but that, after her time in Beijing, she feels like she belongs.
“I learned so much about myself and what it takes to be at this level,” Ludlow said. “Instead of going into USAs worrying that I’m the fourth best girl, I can go in thinking I belong on the world stage. I’m leaving here with nothing but good memories.”
Cathal Dennehy is a freelance writer based in Dublin, Ireland, who covers the sport for multiple outlets from Irish newspapers to international track websites. As an athlete, he was Irish junior cross-country champion and twice raced the European Cross Country, but since injury forced his retirement his best athletic feat has been the Irish beer mile record. He’s happiest when he’s running or writing stories about world-class athletes.
