Jamie Hawkins-Gaar’s finisher medal from the Best Damn Race Half Marathon in Safety Harbor, Florida, still rests on his night stand. 

What his wife, Katie Hawkins-Gaar, does with it is an emotional decision she will make in the future.

On February 4, Hawkins-Gaar was close to finishing his second half marathon in less than a month when he collapsed near the finish line. He died several hours later. The cause of death is still unknown. He was 32.

Katie, 31, has both the Safety Harbor medal and the medal her husband earned a few weeks earlier at the St. Pete Beach Classic half marathon in St. Petersburg, Florida. That’s where she and Hawkins-Gaar had started to build a life together after moving from Atlanta a couple of years ago. 

“I’m going to hold on to them for now,” Katie told Runner’s World. “Right now they bring good memories, obviously not the memory of him dying, but I’m just so proud of him for being such a fighter in everything that he did.”

Hawkins-Gaar wasn’t always a runner. He was an improv actor, a comedian, a producer trying to jump start his own company, Bland Hack Pictures. To friends, he threw himself into any project and did it with passion. He was also a people person, engaging customers as a barista at a popular St. Petersburg coffee shop. 

He found running in 2010 and started racing in 2012. Katie used to marvel at how her husband went from barely running to pulling himself out of bed at 5:30 a.m. to beat the Florida heat and get his miles in, making sure he stayed on his training schedule.

“He had this amazing deliberate thing about him where if he decided he was going to do something, he was going to do it well,” said Josie Caglianone, who trained with Jamie for the St. Pete Beach Classic half.

Hawkins-Gaar was about 12.8 miles into the half marathon when he collapsed, according to Nick Zivolich, CEO and founder of Best Damn Race series. Zivolich said that emergency responders reached him within moments.  

Zivolich contacted Katie and her family later that night to check on Jamie’s condition. 

“We were hoping for some good news,” Zivolich said. “Unfortunately there wasn’t [any].” 

Zivolich wanted to give Katie the medal, but he wasn’t sure what Katie’s reaction would be. After discussion with the family, he decided to bring the medal the next day to Katie and let her decide what she wanted to do with it.

“If she wants it, great. If she wants to throw it in the trash can, absolutely welcome to do so,” Zivolich said. “I just wanted her to have it in case she wanted to keep it. She was thankful.”

Katie is not a runner herself. She played soccer back in high school and she participated in a 5K with her husband as he was starting to take up racing.

Hawkins-Gaar made an impression in the running community. As news of his passing spread across social media, Katie received hundreds of messages from friends and complete strangers who were touched by the stories and remembrances that were shared and in a Advertisement - Continue Reading Below For Young Runners Widow, Race Medals Provide Comfort about Jamie’s life. 

“I’m not part of the running community, but it’s cool to get a glimpse of what that community is like,” Katie said.  “It’s very close-knit and it’s very supportive.”

Zivolich said he is retiring bib 2905 at the Safety Harbor half to honor Hawkins-Gaar’s life.

Katie said she wasn’t sure about the best way to honor Jamie at the race next year. It’s still too early to determine. What she has right now is Jamie’s medals, memories and reminders of his spirit that people flood her with every day. 

For now she’ll keep the mementos on the night stand. “I’m really, really proud of him for being such a determined and incredible person,” she said.