How often and far do you typically run The Simpsons What inspired you to write How to Lose a Marathon: A Starter's Guide to Finishing in 26.2 Chapters.
This humorous take on a traditional race guide is filled with the perfect balance of hilarious and self-deprecating advice for beginners based on Cohen's own experience training for the New York City Marathon in 2013.
We earn a commission for products purchased through some links in this article USATF to Elect New President Amid Budget Deficit inspired him, what it was really like to finish his first marathon in 26,792nd place and how he'd beat his cartoon nemesis Homer Simpson in a foot race.
You've said you have a love-hate relationship with running. Can you elaborate?
That may be a misquote. I have a hate-hate relationship with running. I don’t enjoy it and I am fairly sure it’s not too crazy about me either. What I do love about running is being done running. I like the sense of accomplishment, and of course the fitness benefits, but the act of running and I are not on speaking terms. If running tried to friend me on Facebook, I wouldn’t accept. I hope running reads this and doesn’t even try. No one needs that awkwardness.
You finished 26,792nd place in the 2013 New York Marathon. How do you feel about this unique achievement?
I mean, how many people can say they finished in the top 27,000? While I don’t want to start a scandal, there are some rumors that the 26,791 people ahead of me were all on steroids. If this is indeed proven true, well, then you’re talking to the winner. It’s only a matter of time until the truth comes out.
What inspired you to write How to Lose a Marathon: A Starter's Guide to Finishing in 26.2 Chapters?
When I decided to run a marathon, I had to look up how long a marathon was. Yes, really. Further researching what pace I should run at, I came across a lot of “pace-ism,” meaning judgment from “better” runners about what times count as “good.” The book was my way of trying to make sure other novices wouldn't suffer that judgment or even worse, my level of ignorance.
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How often and far do you typically run?
When training, I would run 8 to 14 miles at a stretch. Nowadays, I run 3 to 6 miles a few times a week. On other days, I’ve started rowing with a crew, hiking, and of course, eating constantly. While the rest of my body has gotten flabbier, my jaw muscles have never been in better shape. I can chew onion rings like a teenager!
What Simpsons Strava’s 2024 Yearly Report Is Here?
The show has a lot of obese characters, but I’m no supermodel myself. Still, there’s a character on the show we call the Sea Captain. Sometimes he’s drawn with a wooden peg leg and sometimes with a normal leg. I think I could take him when he’s got the peg leg, but would lose handily when he doesn’t. Failing that, there was an episode once where Homer was in a coma…
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Energy Gels. I know my running body needs fuel, but really, there has to be a better answer than these warm packs of slimy, toxic sludge. Every time I ingest one, I am sure it violates the Geneva Convention or some law against chemical warfare.
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Simply, no. I finished in 26,792nd place. There’s no topping that.
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The NYC Marathon is coming up. Any plans to train again?
I have heard that on the day before the actual Berlin Marathon, people can in-line skate the course. That sounds like a lot of fun and, let's face it, much easier than actually running. If this rumor turns out to be false, well, then I may still run the race but do it wearing those kid’s shoes with the wheels in them.
The NYC Marathon is coming up. Any plans to train again.
Health & Injuries?
Like any sport, running has its oddities, jargon and, of course, unnecessary equipment. In my book, I hope every runner, or even non-runner like myself will enjoy my ignorant observation and analysis of all of these. I’ve also been surprised and thrilled to hear people tell me they found the book inspiring. I suppose there’s something about my story, a chubby sloth finishing the marathon, that is encouraging. At the very least, readers will realize that however slow or ugly they run, they will still always finish ahead of me.
