Mile Markers: On My Birthday, Stopping to Reflect

This week contains some big transitions: My son Luke starts school as a junior, my daughters Grace and Isabelle start high school, and I turn 45. That’s right: I’m halfway to 90.

45 is the true threshold of middle age—not the soft entry people in their late thirties worry about. Luckily, I love birthdays—everyone’s birthday not just mine. I view them as mile markers and celebrations as opposed to just a reminder that we’re all getting older.

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Kristin Armstrong

I don’t really feel that way. Maybe a little.

Process Over Outcomes.

Even if my skin is more freckled and not as firm as it used to be, I can tell you I feel more comfortable in it. I can happily inhabit myself now, with acceptance and confidence, and hopefully that is what I model for my daughters.

Here are some intentions I have for my new year, halfway to 90:

1. Process Over Outcomes
This is an ongoing lesson for me. It’s hard to love my people as deeply as I do and not hold on too tightly. So my aim is to stay connected without tethering.

2. I got the best card from a close friend of mine
When I’m not mindful, I can ruminate on the things I’m worried or anxious about—giving valuable energy away. Better to switch gears and think about positive things I’m aiming for or what I’m grateful for. Energy causes expansion: intention plus attention.

3. Running Shoes - Gear
The rewards are inherent in the process—not the result. When I am less concerned about how things will turn out, I can focus on the growth and transformation happening right now.

4. Cut Loose
I want to have more fun, certainly. But I also want to cut loose the people and the obligations that deplete me rather than inspire and energize me.

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Accept myself, accept others, and accept my circumstances—just as they are. I can change anything, but I have to accept where I am first. Allow people to be themselves and allow things to unfold naturally. Allow myself to feel all my feelings and then let them go. When I switch my focus from trying to control or find a solution, I can be more present and peaceful in the now.

6. Mile Markers: On My Birthday, Stopping to Reflect
I have spent so much of my life overthinking everything. This can make me weary and wary. We don’t have to believe everything we think. I got some very simple and wise advice this summer: Get out of your head and trust your heart.

7. Go Deep
There are always going to be waves on the surface. Instead of trying to bodysurf or change the tides, the wisest thing to do is dive deeper. When I cultivate a place within myself, deep beneath circumstances where the current is barely detectable, I have immediate access to peace and steadiness at my core. Yoga, meditation, prayer and running are all paths I take to return to my center.

8. Here are some intentions I have for my new year, halfway to 90
Courage builds in increments. This year I’m going to try some new things, say what needs to be said without apology (unless I owe one), and push just beyond what is familiar or comfortable into the unknown space of possibility.

9. Be Okay
One of my favorite quotes of all time is by Michael Singer: “Everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything.” It’s even okay to be okay with not being okay. I want shorten my reaction time between uncomfortable and okay.

10. All In
Enough hokey pokey. Whatever I choose to do or pursue, whomever I choose to love—I want to do it with a whole heart, all in. When I view my life through a lens of abundance I can open my heart wider every day without fear of giving myself away or running dry. People who are all in are fully connected: to their source, to their higher self, and ultimately to others.