After Epic Adventure, a Rough Return to Real Life

Step, pole poke, step, breathe&mdash an epic adventure, Beginner Running Plans.

Health & Injuries.

I have felt like a space ship re-entering the atmosphere, at risk of burning up. I have felt like a diver returning to the surface too quickly, at risk of getting the bends. I have felt like a victim of a stomach bug (maybe because I had one?) who eats too much too soon and is at risk for another stomach churn, or worse.

How Des Linden Keeps Showing Up.

I have talked to other people about this, so I know I’m not entirely alone. Not only does the post-adventure deflation feel similar to the post-Christmas January blues, but there is also an aspect that feels somewhat surreal. Almost like you popped through a wormhole in time to depart from your ordinary life, where you do something completely different in a totally different realm of time and space. And then you return, popping right back through the same wormhole and landing exactly in the spot you left. Everything is oddly the same. Except for you.

You aren’t the same at all.

I’m not quite sure how to rectify this feeling. Or if I can’t rectify it, at least make peace holding these two incompatible feelings at the same time. I am happy to be home, but I’m also not. I feel oddly restless and frustrated, trying not to lose the awareness I had when I was away, and at the same time I feel more clear-minded and confident than I was before. None of this makes logical sense.

ALSO SEE: How to Beat the Post-Race Blues

People with little kids on my trip were pining for their people, looking at cute videos of toddlers and moaning with longing for them. Meanwhile I got texts from my teenagers asking me about money that was running out, cellular data plans, hair appointments, and car options for upcoming 16th birthdays. I would laugh and show my texts messages when they showed their videos. Miss them now, while you can, I joked. I honestly wasn’t all that excited to return to teenage summer shenanigans and the underlying feeling that I am a human wallet, spitting out $20s.

It was a bumpy landing for me. I pared down so much with my little running backpack that I’m hesitant to mindlessly add all these things into the invisible pack I carry around every day. I realized I cannot re-enter a state of limbo or stuckness in my love life, that I have the courage to want more and be honest about it.

I realized by being away that I do entirely too much as a mom. The kids were fine without me here, doing all the things I thought I needed to do. Time to rethink that and maybe consider what I want to do, or what really needs to be done, or what has real lasting impact between mother and child.

TRY YOGA: The RW Yoga DVD Is Made for Runners

I think I learned that everything has more to do with being present and open than it has to do with all the to-do’s I put on my list. Presence is one lesson I know I can try to carry off the mountain. It’s pretty easy to be mindful when you are trudging straight uphill for hours. Step, pole poke, step, breathe—it’s almost a moving meditation. It’s not quite as easy to achieve this in a world of text, ping!, ring!, Mooooom can I go…?, can I have…?, rush, drive, deadline.

So far the pool filter is broken, the icemaker won’t make ice, the upstairs AC unit is dead, and our big older dog is seriously incontinent. I am pretty sure I do have the bends.

I love my life. And I’m happy to be here right back in it. I want to carry the epic adventure and the lessons I learned with me in the midst of the dog-days of summer and regular life, right here right now, I want to allow them to change what needs to be changed and be more okay with the uncertainty and the unknown. I want the adventure to continue in the middle of ordinary time, because really, the real adventure actually happens within.